Argh.

Ok, so, I blew it. I really did. If I had played everything well and not gotten in I would have been ok with that, but it's SO frustrating that I've worked so hard these past few weeks.. and actually started to sound pretty good, been able to play everything up until the moment before I step into the audition room.. and then.. just crash and burn. I fumbled, I cracked the high notes.. I just.. uggh.
Well now I know for sure for future reference that I should play the hardest thing first because I'm ok for the first thing I play and then start shaking.. until by the second or third excerpt I'm going like a bloody leaf.

HUGE thanks to Alix for coming along, it helped so much lol so much less intimidating a process with a friend there.

Well believe it or not Jeff Reynolds RECOGNIZED me.. it's so weird like that.. I spoke to him when he visited TYWO last year and he recognized me THEN too.. (maybe from LAST years audition.. wweeeird.. ).

It's ok. It's totally OK. Next year I'm going to be so SO MUCH more prepared for this. And I'm gonna be super prepared for the TYWO auditions, I swear to god. I'd only really want to play one year with the Fac. anyway because I could only use one of those credits for my minor because of the other requirements. There's always next year. OR the year after!

On a completely different subject, I'm trying so hard to reason with myself.. reason with my completely irrational emotions.. and it's sort of working.. fuck why does this hurt. THIS SHOULDN'T HURT.
Sometimes I just hate life so much.. STOP KICKING ME IN THE ASS ALREADY.

FUCK.
Ok just needed to get that out.

I am NOT looking forward to moving in on Saturday. It's going to be such an aggravation.