I Swear It's Not As Long As It Looks!

So, my birthday wasn't bad exactly, but it wasn't exactly like I had pictured a 19th birthday being. I got AHEAD in my class reading (very awesome.. though the last book I need to read for the course I haven't bought yet.. so I'm kind of at a loss not having anything to be reading), I watched Save The Last Dance and George of the Jungle and The Flintstones and did some hazy stoned dozing.. and I coughed a whole lot. By the time Jamie called around 10:30ish I just didn't feel like doing anything at all.. and I went to bed. I feel as though I should feel that this sucks ass, but I admit it was pretty enjoyable to just lie around and do nothing all day, have my coughing fits over the phone instead of in person haha.

Huge thanks if you remembered to say happy birthday to me.. or if msn/facebook reminded you to say happy birthday. It made a slightly depressing day brighter :)

Though the reason why the day was depressing (despite my enjoying doing nothing) was that most of the people I would consider to be my current friends didn't remember at all. And out of what I consider to be my Markham "group" of friends.. only two people said anything to me. The majority of the people who said something to me were people I haven't seen for months or years and almost never talk to. I notice that it seems to often be the people that I put the MOST effort and care into that don't end up giving any back.. and don't even bother to say happy birthday.. I won't mention any names.. but there are a couple. It's time, I think, to do some serious re-evaluting of my life and the people I'm living it with. It's no big a deal I suppose, we're all human. Though I will admit that every year I say to myself.. "maybe everyone is just PRETENDING to be busy or PRETENDING not to remember or care about my birthday because they don't want me to know that they're PLANNING something for me..." But, who am I kidding right? If you want people to care about your birthday you have to be the one making the big deal about it, and you have to offer people free food and a place to do their drinking into the bargain.

I sound very pessimistic and complain-y don't I? I swear I'm not as much as it looks like, it just sort of comes out that way in writing! I PROMISE. At any rate, I got a nice long phone call from Mark, who I miss like crazy and haven't seen or talked to much in AGES. And Jesse, I love you for text messaging, believe it or not. And Justin for stopping by. And Jamie, who keeps calling even though I'm a huge grump lately.


Now here's the part where I need some feedback from who ever is reading this.. about:
HHHHOOOUUUSSSIINNNNGGGG

Yeahh.. so last week unfortunately Laura backed out on me. Her parents decided they didn't want her moving out. So basically, I'm kinda screwed! There's no way I'll be able to find someone else at this point to be my roomie.. so it comes down to 1. Moving somewhere by myself, bachelor, one bedroom basement, that sort of thing or 2. Moving into an apartment or house with one or more strangers. I'm having a TERRIBLE time trying to decide which one I'd rather. Both are fairly available. I think living alone would be AWESOME.. do what ever I want whenever I want with as much or as little noise, no one to be bothered by my practicing or having friends over, not having to clean OR put up with someone else's dirt... BUT.. would it be too lonely? Is it too sketchy to not have someone who would notice if I disappeared? Not to have someone just AROUND? I honestly can't decide because both present a rather large risk. At this point, I'm going just go for the first place I can find that looks good as far as price and location no matter which of the two that it is. If I could count on always having people wanting to hang out or come visit I might be less hesitant about living alone, but honestly, how often when you say to someone "oh yeah we'll hang out a lot this year" when you don't know them all that well, does it ever actually HAPPEN? So, sketchy.

What do you think I should do?

Alright, ready for some Ottawa beach/bungee pictures? I guess you'd better go Here