Dear Mr. Imaginary

Dear Mr. Imaginary,

You're not going to be an easy catch, I'll think you're too good for me.
You'll probably be someone I've observed for some time.
You'll be the one to make the moves, and I'll respect you for it.
Not everyone finds you attractive, but there are small features you have, your smile perhaps, that attract me to you, and the better I come to know you, the more attractive I'll find you.
You have a very.. unique personality.
You've got smarts and direction in life.
You're substantially taller than me.
You'll recognize in me what few others do, you'll see me as something special, beautiful, unique (and you'll make me feel as such), you'll be able to see how much I have to offer you.
The sparks and chemistry are unmistakable.
We have a common mind for many things, we have the same sense of humour, but in most ways we're different, supplementing what the other lacks.
You can read me like a book.
You're indulgent of my whims, oddities, and eccentricities, you think they're cute.
You'll understand my past, how it affects my future, and how you should respond to it.
You'll make me forget anyone who's ever hurt me.
When we lock eyes in a crowded room, it's like we're the only ones there.
You understand my need for attention, affection, validation.
You'll love listening to my pointless rambles, you know when I need to talk and you'll listen, but conversation is never one-sided.
You'll always have a question to ask me, you're always interested in my opinion, you want to know everything about me.
We have intelligent conversations, but also random nonsense conversations.
I'll love you for the little things you do, the little ways that show you care, they mean the most to me.
You're a bit over-protective.
You'll dance with me.
You're a people person.
You're a gentleman, you always open doors for me.
You're affectionate in public, you dont make me feel like you're ashamed of me, you make me feel like you want people to know that I'm yours.
You take care of me, but you need me to take care of you too.
You forgive me when I screw up and I can never stay mad at you.
You respect my opinion, even if you don't agree with it.
Sometimes we argue just for fun.
You're good at making plans, taking initiative, thinking of random crazy things to do, but you're also content to cuddle in front of the television.
You can tell when I need some space, and you give it to me.
When you put your arms around me, I feel like nothing in the world could hurt me.
You easily over-power me physically.
You could physically protect me, if need be.
You would never lie to me or deceive me, but you're gentle with the truth.
I put you above me and before me, and likewise you put my well-being before your own.
I get along really well with your family.
You're a quick learner and you're open to experimentation.
Sometimes we fight, but it never lasts and that extra bit of fire (the make-up sex) is worth it.
We'll have problems, we'll over-come them, and our relationship will be stronger for it.
I can read your eyes.
You're as playful as I am.
You give real hugs, not half-assed ones.
You always kiss me goodbye, and sometimes hello.
We'll wake up in each others arms feeling like there's nothing more in the world we could ask for.

Dear Mr. Imaginary.. will you please stop being imaginary soon? I know you're out there.
I need someone to love.

Yours truly,
Jenn

I have officially caught up with Lost.
Now I'll have to wait a whole week at a time, with everyone else, to feed this merciless addiction.
If your natural sense of curiousity drives you mad with need to know the answers, like mine, don't start watching this television series.

People Don't Live In Quebec.. Just The French!

At 10:30 am, Thursday February 23, Jamie, Kate, Jenn, and Alex set out on their way to Montreal.
I'll try and make this as short as possible for your sake.
So, everyone knows the car ride is one of the best parts, but especially when Kate and Jamie are bickering in the front seats.

Kate states she's going to sleep with Alex.
Jamie: Take it back.
Kate. No.
(etc)
*Jamie grabs steering wheel*
*Kate starts screaming*
*Jamie raises the pitch of his voice and continues yelling "take it back take it back take it back"*
*Alex and Jenn fear for their lives and can't breathe because they're laughing so hard*
Oh children, what a circus act :P

A very large portion of the ride was dedicated to mocking the french. We established early on that the french are not in fact people, and after crossing the border they should be henceforth blamed for everything.
"Do you think THAT house has a pedophile in it??"

French drivers. As soon as we crossed the border, the road became ridiculous.
Rules for driving in Quebec:
1. Cut in front of other drivers whenever possible. Never signal.
2. So long as you have your hazards on, you can do WHATEVER you'd like. This includes leaving your car in the middle of the road and getting out instead of bothering to actually park it.
3. To parallel park the procedure is as follows: run your car into the curb, hit a pedestrian or two, swerve back out into the road, cut in front of another car or two, run a red light, and repeat.
4. Red lights are a suggestion.
5. When you see a sign that includes the word "detour", IGNORE IT, IT IS THE DEVIL.

We definately got lost a good few times. One way streets EVERY WHERE so lots of going in circles. The parking garages.. don't even get me started on the parking garages. The van couldn't make some of the corners.

Thank god Kate was driving, or we'd all be dead.
Anyways, we made it to the hotel, went wandering, hit up the hot tub (which had something strange seemingly growing in it), met up with Kate's friend Mila and went for dinner.. we attempted some bar crawling, were led into a bar by some sketchy guy.. I had my first ever shot of tequila! Yay! The next bar we went into involved girls getting free drinks, sex on the beach, how AWESOME is that.. the benefits of being born with breasts! We didn't last much longer because Jamie started dying from the smoke (damn french and their lack of smoking laws) so we walked back to the hotel; nothing like a nice buzz and the most beautiful snow fall I've ever seen.
Pathetically enough, after a short game of 'I have never' we fell asleep around 1am and got a good 10 hour sleep.
Alex's green penis left a stain on the bed sheets.
In the morning we went to a criossant place and then sent out for the Montreal Biodome (it's kinda like the zoo, but indoors) which was indeed pretty cool.. the penguins are SO funny. After that we went on a hunt to find a particular bagel place (mmmm) and then let Alex orgasm at the Ubisoft building, ate at Lafleurs (Alex tried to order in french, the guy looked confused, laughed a little, and started talking to him in english haha very glad, by the way, that Kate is fluent, very handy).
We saw one squeegee kid. He was really hot.
And we started the drive back at about 6:30.. got lost.. started the official drive back at about quarter after 7. The ride back involved a highly amusing game of "You know how I know you're gay?"
Alex and Jamie have turned window washing into a highly competitive sport.
After over 10 total hours of driving and 1170 km, we made it back to home sweet Markham.

What I have to show for it:
- my very first PIPE! Fuckin eh, it's about time, no more pop can!
- rum and sourpuss, how could I not buy booze! It was all like.. legal!
- a book of matches from the Winston Churchill Pub
- a strawberry flavoured condom from a machine at Lefleurs, the novelty was too much to resist.
(Gotta love how my souvenirs cover all the bases: booze, drugs, and sex lol)
-a shirt that says "Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go to Montreal" though I'm seriously considering getting a fabric marker and changing it to "bad DRIVERS go to Montreal!"

Anywho, good friends, good food, good times, LOTS of laughs, awesome road trips.

The rest of reading week was good too, mostly it involved eating, some hanging at Jamie's and some hanging at Colin's, also some last minute hanging with Mark (the bastard was in Mexico for a week!)

I stopped by MDHS.. it was.. weird.. it wasn't what I expected. It was weird to not know anyone.. and a lot of the teachers looked at me like "ok.. what are you doing here", I don't know if Mr. Bower even registered my presence over the soccer game he had taped from the tv lol but, go figure, Mr. Bower. At least a couple of them were happy to see me, oh Mr. Jull, after 10-15 minutes of talking to me: "oh.. oops, I have a class right now"
I think I went into that building still holding on to it, still feeling a part of it and I think what I learned is that I need to let it go.
I really need to learn to let go.

Jenn,
Let
Go.

Engage.

Tonight's TYWO concert was fun, Cadence (the singers) are amazing, though I won't bore you with the gritty details since the last post was music-oriented.

Mostly this post is because I want to show you something I've meant to post for a while. If you've ever been a fan of Star Trek TNG or Patrick Stewart then you must watch this short clip.. it makes me smile, Patrick Stewart is such a card.. such a good actor. (Credit goes to Antony for sending this clip to me way back).

-> Click Me to see the cool Star Trek clip! <-

For A Moment You Belong To It

Today I would like to point out the power of the arts.
I can only really talk to you about art in terms of how I know it best, which is through music, though I'm sure the same can be applied to any other branch.
Prevalent in my mind lately has been what music does to me sometimes; sure, there are always songs we enjoy, that make us feel good, that we listen to over and over again, but has music ever full out incapacitated you?
It's never a whole song, never a whole movement, never a whole anything, it's a solo, a small section, a certain theme, a climax.. it's a small thing that renders you so absolutely helpless that all you can do listen and wish for nothing more in the world than to be a part of that sound, because if that sound could encompass you, you would be whole.

I don't think it could ever be the same thing for any two people, but I'll hear something and a part of me will identify with it in a way I can't describe. For a few seconds, nothing else in that god damn world matters but the music. (Kind of like an orgasm in that sense I guess). Have you ever been in love and at some particularly tender moment felt that swelling of affection in your chest that almost moves you to tears? Beautiful, fleeting, and overwhelming.

I doubt you'd feel what I felt listening to the same thing, I think it's a very personal reaction, but I'll give you some examples of what has this overwhelming affect on me: In LOTR 'The Riders of Rohan' from about 2:30 until after the solo violin has finished; the most noticable of the harmonic changes in movement I of Vivaldi's 'The Spring'; what I think is a pan-flute when it solo's in the middle of 'The Circle of Life' (thats right, the lion king); bar 52 of Ghost Train mvmt 2; and yes, the sax solo in Ride.. try as I might I have yet to be able to make myself play the couple of bars I'm supposed to during it.

Maybe I'm just a nerd, but I know for a fact that people have similiar moments with other genres.

It's also pretty amazing what an impact books, movies, and television have on me. When I'm alone I'll get really into these things.. if I'm watching a movie alone in the middle of the night, or have read a book for hours without pause, and finish it.. my state of mind is actually considerably altered for a while after. It's a like a drug. Sometimes it's almost like the dominant feel of a book will seep into me.. if I've just finished reading a book written through the eyes of a psycho, you'd better watch out for an hour or so.

It's creepy, and beautiful stuff, what the absorption of someone else's passion and expression can do to us.

Last night Ronald and I went to see the Toronto Symphony Orchestra do Shostakovich's cello concerto and 11th symphony. I liked it, extraordinary talent all around, it was a cool experience, I can appreciate it as a musician but.. my heart belongs to Mozart and 2 something hours of 20th century music was a bit much for me..
After the cello concerto, the soloist left and came back on stage EIGHT TIMES. I found that slightly ludacris, but then what do I know.

Look around you. Take a good look, just between you and me. Are you sure that this is where you want to be?

Happy Valentine's Day?

Here it is.. that miserable day.
It's stupid for girls to be depressed on Valentine's day you say? Corporate holiday you say.. consumerism, materialism, capitalism, blah blah and all that? Well sure you can say all those things about it being stupid BUT, my friends, none of that changes the fact that it is still a day where single people, such as myself, will have it rubbed in their face that they are alone or that no one loves them, wants them, or is going to pay any special attention to them and all that. Everyone being all lovey-dovey, walking around with flowers and pink things.. it's "just another day"? No. It's a day to appreciate what you have or a day to notice what you don't have.

On the "just another day" note, I've heard it said from guys and gals alike: "why should one day be different, shouldn't they appreciate each other all the time?"
Hah. Let me field this one.
Guys are assholes. (Ok, maybe some girls too.) Do you -really- think that your boyfriend is going to do some out of the blue special valentine's-day-esque thing for you without the holiday?
Let's face it. No. Probably not.
Can't say I've ever dated anyone who really did, or know anyone who does.
Valentine's day gives those poor, dumb, not so spontaneous but good intentioned boys a fighting chance to do something nice for their girls.

And that, in conclusion, is my defense of both why we should be miserable AND embrace the spirit of Valentine's day :)

Now, more importantly, today is also Paul's birthday.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAULIE WOLLY! I heart you! You've been a wonderful, supportive, top-notch friend for a good few years now, can't say you've ever let me down. Hope you have a great time not being a teenager anymore :P

If any of you are going to comment, it had BETTER include something about how much you love me in some way, shape, or form.. happy v-day! :)

Life Is..

If only I were..
Then you would..
If I could..
If I had..
Not a day goes by without..
I can't..
Why don't you..
What did I..
What if..
How can I..
Don't you see..
When will..
Doesn't it matter that..

What is life really, other than so many unfinished sentences.

Boooooooooo.... t.

Last night we had a big family dinner :D By which I mean all of my roommates and any respective boyfriends all went to Swiss Chalet together, which was awesome because so seldom do we all manage to be in the same place at the same time! Three course meal.. I don't know if I've ever enjoyed eating so much in my life, or felt so disgustingily ill from eating at the exact same time! It was great.

So, the exam schedule came out.. *sigh* I have 3 weeks of nothing in between when classes end and when my exams begin.. what the hell.. and all of my exams are in May.. the last one being the 10th (that's SOO LATE!!) and they all start at 9 am. Which screws me a little because I do best if it's later on in the day and I've had time to wake up and cram and little before hand.

Le Sigh. Well it definately could be a lot worse.

My oma and opa sent me a valentines day card in the mail! :) <3

Que Sera, Sera

I've no right to be feeling slightly miserable, I know this
It was a good couple of months.

For those who didn't catch it, (and if you didn't it's because you're not cool enough) that last post was a Star Trek quote. Oh Data, your positronic brain produces such endearing hilarity.

A week and a half till reading week.. but all it means to me is the beginning of a very hectic couple of months, with me consequently irritably jumping down your throats for silly reasons.

In last Monday's seminar we began with talking about physics and space-time relativity and some how ended up with internet porn and phone sex. Gotta love it.

Blah.

It's not that I miss you.. it's just that my neural pathways had become accustomed to your sensory input patterns..

Giggidy Giggidy!

Tis true that I have been somewhat down in spirits for the last little while, and even now, but when people come to visit I remember just how amazing my friends are and what a lucky gal I am to have them.

We'll recap to Jamie's visit because now I have a couple of pictures to post:


We have no arms!

ALRIGHT, now, Mark visited on Thursday! He covered it pretty well on his blog, but I'll go over it anyway. It definately was worth how long we were looking forward to it. We played Super Mario 3 for 4 hours, I kicked it's ASS, only warped past world 6, never lost all of my lives and killed the last Koopa in one try, god I LOVE THAT GAME. I remember it being a lot harder.. we had a few shots of rum while we were playing, then went out to Golden Griddle.. mmm.. and then came back and watched the Family Guy movie..


THIS ISN'T MY LEG! HAHAHA!

Mark is a manly man, no doubt there! :P


And as much as you'd love it, I'm not gonna post any of me!
So yeah, thanks for a great night Mark :)

On Friday night I saw Rocky Horror again, I enjoyed it even more than the first time! You can definately tell the difference the second night versus the second last night, the singing was more confident and so on. And the audience was a lot more involved this time. God, I'd sell my soul to able to do musical theatre. (No one in theatre has a soul anyway! lol)

If only I were.. Then you would...