Just For Mark.

There hasn't been a whole lot to say the past few days, I'm almost better, still with the coughing and stuff though.

Been having panick attacks every time I remember how I've been too sick to practice this week.

Missing Markham Fair for the first time is not cool.

Ever tried filling a hole with emptiness? As the contradictory statement itself implies, it doesn't work very well.
I have indeed had an empty feeling inside of me for the past little while, you know that "something is missing" feeling. And, of course, I go about trying to fill it. Unfortunately in the attempt I leave myself feeling emptier than when I had begun. Ironically enough. There is no quick fix, no such thing as a "clean break" and no way to make it go away by trying to fool yourself into a substitute.

I have an unfortunate habit of saying things to myself like "I won't eat chocolate. I won't eat chocolate" and continuing to repeat this to myself as I watch myself eat chocolate and still continue to repeat this to myself as I feel bad for eating the chocolate, and then get angry at myself for not listening to myself when no real satisfaction was drawn from the eating of the chocolate. What a terrible example. For some reason the word "chocolate" is bothering me. You know how certain words just bother you? Like the word "wipe" I HATE that word. Among others.

Anyways, you know what I mean, right?

:P

If the bookstore doesn't get in my archaeology book soon I'm going to have a nervous breakdown. What with already being 3 weeks behind in the reading. Why didn't I just buy it in fucking June like everyone else seems to have lol oh right, I chose the course the day before school started.